How Gorilla Comics Was All My Idea
by George Pérez

I was in withdrawal. Drawing 1,722 Avengers each month just wasn't satisfying my jones like it used to. I needed more. I needed new worlds, new characters. I needed to do one of those massive crossovers that everyone loves. Hey -- I needed my fix, man!

But how was I gonna do it? Where could I find other lunatics willing to help me fulfill my crazy dream? To create a cast so large, a world so complicated that it would burst every blood vessel in your brain? Well, frankly, nowhere! This industry is too full of lazy whussies! If such a masterpiece is to be done, I'd have to do it all myself! I'll just have to use other names on some of the books to avoid accusations that this was just another Pérez power-trip.

And who'd notice? I've been getting away with using such weird pen names like Wieringo, Busiek and Grummett for years without anyone catching on! A shared universe with five different titles-- with all the stories tying into each other, the futuristic settings! The rockets! Chicks with guns! Evil corporations! Even a big talking Tiger (who do you think that tattoo on Shannon Lower's leg is anyway?)--all this culminating in the biggest bloodbath the industry has ever known! It will be absolutely, freakin' great! And with my reputation (and those of my aliases) no one would dare get in the way of this 500-lb Gorilla. . . ? (Hey, Gorilla-- I like that!)

Now. . . if only those guards would allow me a sharp pencil.